


Regenerative Trauma

by Metz77



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Dark, Regeneration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metz77/pseuds/Metz77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was a Time Lord, and he'd just regenerated. But <i>which</i> Time Lord?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regenerative Trauma

"Yes, of course. I suppose it makes sense. Wearing a bit thin. I hope the ears are a bit less conspicuous this time."

The Doctor knew that his memory of the time he'd spent with his future selves would slip away, but as the regeneration began, he held fast to the knowledge that he had saved Gallifrey. He needed to remember that all was not lost. He could not let himself forget.

He could not let himself forget...

...what?

What couldn't he forget?

What had just happened? Where was he?

 _Who_ was he?

He looked around wildly, starting to panic. TARDIS. He was in a TARDIS. He was a Time Lord, and he'd just regenerated. But _which_ Time Lord?

"Argh!" He fell to the floor, clutching at his chest as a massive spasm tore through his body. He ripped open his jacket and shirt, feeling for his chest.

Only one heart was beating. His regeneration was failing.

"Medical cabinets!" he shouted. "Where did I leave the medical cabinets?!" Through his panic, some corner of his mind noted that his voice sounded distinctly... Mancunian. He rushed through the doors leading further into the TARDIS and almost ran face-first into the cabinet he was seeking. He flung the doors open and started rummaging through the medical detritus on the bottom. _Syringe, syringe, I need a syringe._

"Aha!" He pulled the syringe out of the cabinet and stuck it in his mouth plunger-end first for safekeeping. Next step was to find the chemicals he needed on the cabinet shelves. He ran a finger across them. "Adrenaline, yes," he said, grabbing the tiny bottle and continuing. "Atropine! Good!"

Loading the chemicals into the syringe in correct proportions was tricky at best while suffering from asystole, because he was working under a time limit and would occasionally spasm violently, but he knew that the wrong mixture could be fatal, and so he worked as slowly as he dared. When the preparation was ready, he took the cap off the needle and plunged it into his stopped heart with a cry of pain. He tossed the empty syringe aside and whacked himself on the chest as hard as he could with both hands.

An involuntary gasp of mixed pain and relief escaped his mouth as his second heart started beating again.

Now that the immediate emergency was taken care of, the Time Lord could feel his mind drifting. He needed to... what? "Charley!" he called out. "I need—" No, Charley was gone. He was traveling with Nyssa, wasn't he? Or was it Romana? Or... who?

He shook his head violently, trying to clear it, but the fog stubbornly refused to lift. What had just happened? "I regenerated," he said aloud, more to convince himself he still existed than anything else. "Post-regenerative amnesia, physical trauma..." The relevant memory finally snapped into place. "I need to get to the Zero Room."

All the corridors looked the same in his hazy state. It wasn't long before the Time Lord was thoroughly lost. "I need a map or something," he complained. Obligingly, the center of the floor lit up in a line presumably leading to the destination. "If you were a humanoid I'd kiss you," he said to the TARDIS. Before long, he'd reached the Zero Room and could finally in a state of blissful sensory deprivation.

* * *

An indeterminable but probably lengthy amount of time later, the Doctor emerged from the Zero Room, now almost entirely in full possession of his faculties. He stopped by the wardrobe to pick up a new outfit, but didn't linger long, only taking trousers, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket to keep him warm. He didn't have time to waste. The events leading up to his regeneration were still utterly blank, and he hoped to refresh his memory before diving back into the Time War.

Checking on Gallifrey was his first priority. If they needed assistance, he'd head back there right away. But if they could hold their own for a while, there were plenty of places that could use his help. He entered the planet's coordinates into the console and glanced at the scanner.

His head snapped up, his attention now fully on the screen. Where Gallifrey should have been there was... nothing. Only rubble.

That's when the memories started trickling back. The fall of Arcadia. Stealing the Moment. The crucial decision to end the Time War once and for all, even if it meant destroying his own people.

Everything after the point where he made that decision was gone, but he thought he could fill in the blanks. He'd used the Moment to annihilate Gallifrey and the surrounding Dalek fleet. The fallout from the weapon had ravaged his body, triggering his regeneration and causing his post-regenerative trauma. His quick thinking had managed to save his own life, but at a cost.

The Doctor was alone in the universe.

A primal cry of rage escaped his throat. He ripped a panel off the console and flung it into the wall, shattering some of the roundels. He hated the damn things. They reminded him of Gallifrey. He kicked at the damaged console, sending levers and buttons flying off into the room. Another incoherent shout tore out of him as he collapsed to the floor, sobbing.

He rose again three minutes later, his face dry, and looked around at the wreckage of his console room. _It needed redecorating anyway,_ he thought. _Maybe I'll go with the Coral theme this time. I haven't used that one before._ A quick few button presses later and the console room looked good as new. A grim smile graced his face. It was time to get down to business.

Over the next few (subjective) months, the Doctor managed to stop a Sea Devil plot to destroy the _Titanic_ before it left its dock, saved the life of an Androzani explorer who was stranded on Krakatoa immediately prior to its eruption, and stopped a rogue Time Agent from killing Lee Harvey Oswald on November 20th, 1963. But all of it felt _empty_ , knowing that all his people were dead at his own hand.

No matter. The TARDIS was giving off its distinctive wheezing as it landed. He activated the scanner. "Earth again, huh," he said to the TARDIS. "You're getting too attached to that planet, you know." He glanced at the year. "2005, huh? I haven't been to the 21st century in ages. Worth a look, I suppose."

He pulled the lever to open the door and headed out into London.


End file.
